“Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns)”
by Mindy Kaling
Why you’d like it:
If you seek rapid-fire laughs, quick essays full of blunt life wisdom, or insight into Girl World, then you’ll probably finish this book in one glorious sitting. Oh, and of course, you’ll adore it if you’re a fan of Mindy as an actress or a writer or both! She’s bursting with industry information and advice.
Mindy Kaling has lived many lives: the obedient child of immigrant professionals, a timid chubster afraid of her own bike, a Ben Affleck–impersonating Off-Broadway performer and playwright, and, finally, a comedy writer and actress prone to starting fights with her friends and coworkers with the sentence “Can I just say one last thing about this, and then I swear I’ll shut up about it?”
Perhaps you want to know what Mindy thinks makes a great best friend (someone who will fill your prescription in the middle of the night), or what makes a great guy (one who is aware of all elderly people in any room at any time and acts accordingly), or what is the perfect amount of fame (so famous you can never get convicted of murder in a court of law), or how to maintain a trim figure (you will not find that information in these pages). If so, you’ve come to the right book, mostly!
In Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?, Mindy invites readers on a tour of her life and her unscientific observations on romance, friendship, and Hollywood, with several conveniently placed stopping points for you to run errands and make phone calls. Mindy Kaling really is just a Girl Next Door—not so much literally anywhere in the continental United States, but definitely if you live in India or Sri Lanka.
What I enjoyed:
Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? is quirky, heartfelt, and hilarious. Mindy’s personality shines from the first word to the last (which is obviously the point, but she’s mastered her voice). I could almost hear her voice narrating as I was reading! No, I’m not a nut bar.
My two cents of constructive criticism:
Some of the essays could have used more actionable advice, especially when she discusses her initial struggles as an actress and a writer. However, Mindy is upfront about her book’s purpose in the introduction: it’s not meant to be a self-help book or an advice column. With that being said, who am I to complain about the free advice I did glean from one of my favorite people? Shut up, me.
How it made me feel:
Motivated. Confident. Giggly. I would buy Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? and read it when I need a reminder that the past — no matter how frustrating or embarrassing — is only a burden if you allow it to be.
What it reminded me of:
Reading the journal of my famous, pop-culture-obsessed BFF who still manages to embrace her imperfections and own her awkwardness.
What I thought after finishing the last line:
“I want to be best friends with Mindy Kaling. Is that a valid life goal?”
Memorable, spoiler-free quotes:
“If I can give one bit of advice to any drama major, high school theater kid, or inmate who is reading this in a prison library with dreams of being cast in the prison play, it’s this: write your own part. It is the only way I’ve gotten anywhere. It is much harder work, but sometimes you have to take destiny into your own hands. It forces you to think about what your strengths really are, and once you find them, you can showcase them, and no one can stop you.”
“I decided the odds were stacked against me, which strangely made me feel like I was going to get the job even more. Sports movies had brainwashed me into the belief that when the chips are down the most, that is when success is the most inevitable.”
“I find it extremely impossible not to cry when I hear Stevie Nicks’s ‘Landslide,’ especially the lyric ‘I’ve been afraid of changing, because I’ve built my life around you.’ I think a good test to see if a human is actually a robot/android/Cylon is to have them listen to this song lyric and study their reaction. If they don’t cry, you should stab them through the heart. You will find a fusebox.”
Next week, I’ll review Hardcore Zen by Brad Warner. Until then: feed your head, little bookworms.